Guide To be A Loser Example

Now, we haven't really explained how to be a loser. I mean, we've told you what to do, but what about how to do it? See, we're smart. *points to head and grins*
Here's a sampler from Guide To Be A Loser 5, Item Number 8.
Here, we have 3 characters: Mom, Dad, and Jinx, who's kindly volunteered.

Mom: What's that?
Jinx: I'm going to Sarah's House *winks eye*
Dad: Who's Sarah?
Jinx: She's, uh, an aunt.
Dad: She's a what?
Jinx: An aunt.
*Mom gaves Jinx a strange look*
Mom: What are you going to be doing there?
Jinx: We're going to trade clothing.
Dad: And??
Jinx: Then we're going to this guy's party.
Dad: And??
Jinx: Then nothing, dad.
Dad: And??
Mom: Stop it dad. That's really annoying.
*Dad turns on the TV*
Mom: Okay Jinx, you take care.. Dad, can you turn off the TV?
*Dad turns the volume higher*
Mom: (crying) Why do you have to be so mean, Dad?
*Mom and Dad both leave, and Jinx exits, proud*

Okay, yeah. We got a bit carried away. But here's a demo of List 5, Item 1:

Characters: Teacher, Jinx, and Kids.
Teacher: Today we will be focusing on the Human Immune Systems. Who can tell me where the macrophages are produced?
Jinx: PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
*Kids laugh, a few give an evil stare. Jinx smiles*
~5 Milleniums Later~
Teacher: ... That is how the body responds to a foreign pathogen. Who has any questions?
*Jinx raises hand. Teacher calls on Jinx*
Jinx: Is it true that 10% of your DNA comes from viruses?
Teacher: Yes. Yes, Jinx, yes! YESSS!!!
*Kids give teacher a weird stare*
*Bell rings, and kids leave*

See. Wasn't so hard.

How to be a Loser, Part 5

1. Raise your hand in science class and say "PHOTOSYNTHESIS." Then behave perfectly well throughout the whole class. '
2. Call your crush "sweetie" and your egg "our baby"
3. Watch the movie Drillbit Taylor. Go out naked and have a bath in your lawn, and pretend it's no big deal.
4. Buy baby shoes. Put them on your doll.
5. Go to Baby Gap and shop for clothes for your own house.
6. Run and yell "Freedom for Tibby!"
7. Say that today is a Dress-As-A-Faerie day. Be the only one who doesn't dress as one.
8. Lie to your mom and dad. Make it obvious.
9. Pretend you're going to steal something big. Then, tell them that you were just looking around.
10. Do something really bad. Blame it on Elmo.

Losers Identity...

Who am I? Well, guess what, you'll never know. I could be that really cute girl across from your block, your girlfriend, your daughter, your son, your aunt, your best friend. I could be talking to you right now and then typing this on my BlackBerry (if I have one.) I could be a 16-year-old or a 26-year-old. I could be a 70-year-old.

You'll never know. :)

Guess what? That is the best part.

Yet Another Loser Video; People...Eating; SNL...

This has to be one of my favorites. I know, you guys don't exactly appreciate all these videos that we're throwing at you, but trust me, this is worth it (even the annoying commercial at the beginning!)



Andy Samberg is my favorite LOSER/comedian! Love him!

Loser Movies...

If you would like to watch a loser movie, go watcyh Drillbit Taylor, in theatres right now. The movie is about 2 losers who hire a bodyguard to help them from bullies.
Trailer:

LOSER on TV: Iran So Far Away; SNL

LOL... Andy Samberg is in love with the President of Iran!

How To Be A Loser, Part 4

1. Watch Seaseme Streey. Pretend you're in love with the show.
2. Read Danielle Stele.
3. Fall in love with a Presidential Candidate.
4. Call al guys who wear red "macho".
5. While playing football, secretly work for the other team. Pretend that they put you as a "mole."
6. Start a blog about yourself. Never update it.
7. Send an e-mail to your grandmother talking about politics.
8. Send an e-mail to your crush saying that she looked very purtey today. Say that you two were meant to be together according to the stars.
9. Watch Meet the Spartans. Then, dress up as Paris Hilton and say "THAT'S HOT!!"
10. RSS feed this blog.

Loser Quiz Results...

If you chose all A, YOU ARE A LOSER! RSS FEED THIS BLOG RIGHT NOW, DUDE!!
If you chose all B, then you are close to being a loser. Keep reaching for the stars, kid!
If you chose all C, then you are a normal person. DIE!!
If you chose all D, then we have no clue who you are, probably an alien, so please go back to your home planet before you destroy and wreck mankind.

Interview With A Loser...

For today's post, we will interview a loser, who we'll call Jinx...
LOSER: Hi J, how are you?
Jinx: Weiner!
LOSER: Are you a loser?
Jinx: Most definitely.
LOSER: What is your favorite color?
Jinx: Purtey colors.
LOSER: Where are you from?
JInx: Loserville, AKA LALA Land
LOSER: Do you like it there?
Jinx: Doi! Heck yeah, man...
LOSER: Don't call me a man. You're a man.
Jinx: I'm a female. PREDATOR!!!
LOSER: Do you want to do this or not?
Jinx: OH MY GOSH, LIKE, ARE YOU JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE?
LOSER: No, I mean, yeah...
Jinx: I want to take you home, JT!
LOSER: ICE CREAM!!!!
Jinx: Santa Claus is coming to town...

So, that was an interview with the loser JINX! See you later (I promise to post about the quiz results!) :)

Losers all over part 2

yeah so like i was in sum class....rite so like their was sum weird kid sitting next to me....idk the kids name but that persons a total loser out of any losers i met....that person crreped me out so bad that i had to run to the teacher and ask for help because he was destroying battleships on the internet playing games......like i'm dead serious.....n then like i went to this other class...n like we played muzic......n there was this person a few seats rite next to me..... the persons name is c. that person was an airhead....like we were playing sum song n like c missed a few notes so i started blaming him when i actually missed half of the song without playing....like totally....n like i called him a dumb butt cuz like it was like sooo true......n then ppl luked at me n said ur a luzer...n i waz like sooo what...at least i'm the only one that only needs to use my fingers n like ur the ones wasting ur breath for like one period

Losers all over part 1

While i was singing Bad Day by Alvin and the Chipmunks (Yes i know its by some other artist but losers don't think much).....with my friend j rite.....n like this person came out of no where n like the persons name is d n says Be quite ur such a corny lozer....N my friend n i were like no ur the luzer for calling us a lozer you weiner.....So then d gnarled at us so then we ran to class......we didn't run because he was scary......we ran because our eyes burned from the sun n we screamed..........n ran as if our lifes depended on it

Loser Quiz!

For all you losers out there, HOW LOSER ARE YOU???????: (By the way, take part in our poll!)
1. When someone calls you a loser, what do you say?
A. Weiner!
B. Whateves!
C. Love ya!
D. Were you talking to me?
2. When someone steals your lunch money, what do you do?
A. Cry
B. Laugh
C. Run
D. Stand there until it goes away.
3. Someone's wearing a pink sweater! What do you do?
A. Run and say to them arrrr matey....ur a pirate!
B. Say they are a genius.
C. Purtty colors
D. Just a color, man.
4. It's a really sad movie. What do you do?
A. Laugh
B. Cry
C. I'm outta here!
D. Do I care?
5. It's November 30th!
A. Go to school wearing that Cinderella Halloween costume!
B. Give your mom an I.O.U card.
C. Trash day! Time to clean out my room!
D. Just another ordinary day!

Results will be posted next time!

Guide To Be A Loser, Part 3 (as requested)

1. Laugh when everyone is crying.
2. Raise your hand and tell the teacher, "I hate you!"
3. Tell everyone than they're all going to die.
4. Tell the teacher that whatever he/she teaches is against your religion.
5. Print pictures of your niece.
6. Decorate your locker with crap.
7. Act like you care- ditch them at the last moment.
8. Tell everyone to drop their books at the same time. Be the only one who doesn't do it.
9. Come dressed up as Fairy Godmother. Said Halloween is a month earlier due to Global Warming.
10. When the Math teacher calls on you, write some useless garbage on the board. Pretend its authentic.

Loser Part 2

How to be the biggest loser....
1. Break up with your love
2. Start causing problems with people
3. Start attacking people out of no where as a tiger
4. Laugh at peoples faces that how you live in a box in the street.
5. You would act as a monkey and throw bananas at people

Being a Loser, Part 1

So, what does it take to be a loser?
1. You gotta be corny, buddy.
2. You have to have a style which is unappreciated and out of fashion
3. Have tons of people call you loser. Behave like a sissy when they do.
4. Use words like "omg" or "weiner" or "scaredy cat."
5. Get a blog. Talk about corny stuff.
6. Go stuff your face in a pie.
7. Get a few bullies on your back.
8. Ask the old moldy librarian out.
9. Fall in love with cheese. Carry it around.
10. Wear a shirt that says, "MONKEY PRIDE!"
11. Carry out a beanie baby.
12. Call people with pink sweaters pirates

*Loser! does not encourage you to follow this list, and all lawsuits will be filed back!! suckers!!

You're A LOSER!

When you tell someone they are a loser....Just walk away because they are dummies....if they say they are a double loser which means they are a winner.....Then just say YOUR A WEINER.......you dumb butt....